Smile, honey!

I hate it when people say that, you know? It's always for no reason in particular. You can just be walking down the street, or shopping, or on line at the store, or on the subway, anywhere. Without warning, someone will yell that line at you.

"Hey, smile honey!" It's always with some asinine reason attached, like you'll look so much prettier if you'd just smile. Smile right now, because this person, a total stranger you don't know from Adam, commands it. Make no mistake about it, it is a command. "Hey" is meant to grab your attention, and then the order: smile. The phrasing itself makes it clear: you will smile because I told you to do so.

Why would you want someone to smile when they themselves don't want to? I've seen myself with a forced smile in pictures; my mouth is smiling, but my eyes are not. The overall effect makes me look like I intend to plunge a knife into you. How is that appealing to anyone? Bravo, you got me to smile, but there's no actual joy in it. A lot of loathing, yes. Happiness? Not at all.

So why should I smile? To make you feel good? Tell me something, random person who I will likely never see again: why do I care about how you feel today? It's the same as people who spout off things like "You'd be so much prettier without your glasses." and then look at you expectantly, wanting you to gasp and go "Oh! You're right! Let me take off these glasses right now! Sure I need them to, you know, see, but what's compromising my visual acuity compared to making myself that much more aesthetically pleasing to you?"

I'm sorry, but I don't feel that I need to make myself decorative just for you. If I were say, working in a customer service position that would be a different story. Being smiley and "happy" is par for the course, and losing your job because a customer didn't think you looked pleasant enough would be bad. But, random person on the street, you're not my employer or a customer, so no smile on demand for you.

Honestly, what would you think of a person who's just vapidly smiling into space all the time, no matter what they're doing? Would you think "Gee, they're awful happy"? Probably not. More likely it'd come across as a little disturbing.

Maybe, just maybe, that person you've decided to tell to smile has got something on their mind. Maybe they're hot, or cold, or tired, or hungry. Maybe they're mentally planning out a list of things they have to do. Perhaps they're worried about something or someone. Or maybe they've been standing on the subway platform for the past half-hour waiting for a train that just refused to come. Maybe they just don't feel like it. There are countless reasons why that person you decided to single out isn't smiling. They are all valid reasons.

Your desire to make them smile just to please you? Isn't a valid reason at all.