I really don't understand the appeal in possessive, controlling male leads in fiction. I wouldn't be swooning over a guy who pulls some of the crap they do, I'd be on the phone hysterically sobbing to the police about the stalker who's after me.
People have tried to explain this to to me by saying that women want to feel secure and protected, and thus they need this big, strong man to be at their side all the time. Okay first off, thank you for the irritating generalization. You will be receiving one face-punch in the mail. Secondly, how can anyone feel "safe" when the person who is supposed to be keeping you safe controls your life, tries to keep other people away from you, is prone to fits of jealousy, follows you wherever you go, and is a general creeper. It's like having a demanding child for a jailer.
The male wants you to associate with nobody but him. If you have other friends you want to spend time with, he throws a jealous temper tantrum, or tries to guilt you by moping that you "don't love him enough". He may remove the engine block from your car so you can't go anywhere, or watch you in your sleep. He may claim he was born to be your lover, and obsessively search for you. You may or may not still be a child when he begins this search, as I saw in one book.
This? This is not relationship material. This is the villain in a psychological thriller! There's nothing romantic about any of this and I can't fathom why anyone would think otherwise. If I were Bella Swan, I would have hired a vampire hunter the moment I saw Edward Cullen a'sparklin' my way. Or possibly taken a stake to him myself. Jacob would have been subsequently greeted with a faceful of silver bullets.
Come on, Bella as a hunter of the denizens of the night! Humanity's last bulwark against the undead scourge! Awesome, no? No? ...alright then.
I mentioned a man who searched for the heroine since she was a child, and claimed he was born to be her lover. I speak of Daemon Sadi, "hero" of the Black Jewels books and one of the creepiest male leads I've ever read about. He gives ol' Eddie Cullen up there a run for his money in sheer stalkerific lunacy. Honestly, I have many problems with the themes and implications in the Black Jewels trilogy. Daemon is just one of them, but boy is he a big problem.
To be accurate, Daemon's search actually began a thousand years before Jaenelle, the heroine, was even born. A witch prophesized the birth of Jaenelle, savior of the world, and well...Daemiepoo is obsessed with being her lover. Note that she doesn't actually seem to have a choice in the matter. He called dibs, now she's his whether she likes it or not (and of course she looooooves it). To that end, he spends most of his free time stalking her. Hunting her. Waiting for her to appear. He tracks her to her family's home for God's sake, and immediately begins hanging around her every chance he gets. Grooming her, one might argue, to feel affection for him.
This continues in the next two books when she's a teenager and later an adult, with a time gap in which Daemon is not present. It culminates in a contrived sex scene that occurred because Daemon was moping about Jaenelle not immediately doing the do with him when he recovered from insanity. Of course, one of the other characters has to make her feel bad about this.
I'll say it again. It's the sheer lack of choice that galls me. What would Daemon do if Jaenelle had fallen for another man in the interim period when he wasn't constantly hovering over her? Kill him? It doesn't seem to be beyond him to do so, considering the number of people he either kills or thinks of killing in the series. Kill all her potential suitors until every man within a thousand miles is afraid to venture near her, and only Daemon is left to comfort poor, sweet Jaenelle? If he were painted as a villain, that would be great. It's the fact that he's supposed to be a hero and would still do so that makes it weird.
Or, what if Jaenelle just flat-out said "Daemon, I don't love you. In fact, I find you frightening." What would he do then? Kill himself? Kill her? Kill both of them so he can have her forever in death? None of these sound too farfetched for a man who views violence and killing as acceptable solutions to most problems. I somehow doubt he'd reflect on his behavior, quietly apologize and be on his way. At the very least, she'd have a relationship with another man and he would be portrayed as laughably, stereotypically one-dimensional and cruel to make Daemon look good in comparison. They must be together because destiny wills it so!
Sad that men such as Daemon Sadi and Edward Cullen are portrayed as desirable. Ideal, even. Even worse is the fact that young girls are reading these books and thinking so.
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